Ever been just sitting there and suddenly realize something? That just happened to me. I realized that I have only one day left of trainign befire we go to our ARTEP, which is kind of like our final test. So we have that and then equipment pack up and then the big jump over the pond. As I am sitting here packing Im like, holy crap I got alot of stuff, most of which is headed over, but I got a bag and box that will be coming home with me. The weather is actually tollerable here, overcast and a little less hot. Unlike what I am seeing you guys dealing with up there. Trust me its still worse down here. Come on down and see if you would like. We are being over run here with ants, millions of them. If you even leave somthing out for 15 minutes, they're on the way. You can sit there and watch, literally. Orkin would make a killing down here...

We are all in the throws down here of getting ready for leave, some leaving earlier than others, but going home none the less. I was able to put together a pretty big picnic down here for our ceremony on the 10th, with a live band. looks like we have about 750-1000 peaolpe here so it will be a nice send off from here...

This is a 3 stage blog. As you can see. But what helps is to pop in a little DKM and its funny how your mind relaxes and you are able to blog. SUCCESS! I can still blog, the commander said it was cool, as long as I did not violate operational security or critical events which have occurred. I'll explain this in my book when I get back and begin to write. The way I see it, I'll have to put my list of demands for my book tour in my contract. You know, firetucks, bagpipes, midget hookers, candy bars, and stuff like that in the "green room" at Barnes and Noble, B Dalton. Nothing but first class for me.

Well, we came out of the field Sunday night and the madness began. Before I begin on that, I will encapsulate my 4 day field problem. Very different from being a company commander, but a learning experience none the less. its amazing how you get thrown into something and be like holy crap, how do you do this? But Ive got terrific NCO's who weren't afraid to help out a captain and set him straight. Basically I did battle tracking and ensured that units were where they were supposed to be. We also had a little bit of COB (civilians on the battlefield) which was different. So we had to deal with real world issues, such as no work, limited electricity available, insurgent activities. Day shift was alot more busier than night, so it seems the mopes have a regular rest plan also.

We also had to a chance to get air support from a couple of AH 64 Apache's. Now that was cool. I can see how those videos of that have circulated through out the internet world have come to be. On video they look mean, but to see one hovering 100 meters from you with an incredible amount of fire support is awe inspiring. I tried to get some pix, but the operator headspace and timing didnt allow it. I got a picture of my face and another of the ground. Good thing Im not in adult films, I can only imagine what would be the end product. Needless to say I wont quit my day job.

I have less than 48 hours left of Shelby and it feels like the weigth of the world has been lifted off us. No more training, ranges, death by powerpoint, and most of all, humidity. No kidding. If you want to experience this, there is no need to come down here. Simply turn on the shower at your house and the heater at the same time, and shut the door. Make sure it is only hot water, because even the cold water down here is about public pool temperature, minus the kid piss in the water. Further, if you want to see how bad you can smell, follow my instructions. First of all, shower before you leave. That is the basis for this. There is no doubt in my simple mind that you will be soaked by the time you have formation. This will continue until you pop your armor at bedtime. Once its bedtime, try and sleep in air that literlly does not move unless someone walks by you. Stripping naked and laying out in the middle of the FOB could be a solution, but then there is the explanation to the commander. Wake up the next morning, put on a blouse that is still wet from the night before and armor up. By the time you leave the tent you are soaked anyhow so it doesnt matter. Day 2 is the same as day one, only at bedtime there is slight smell of chicken noodle soup coming from your body. Night 2 same as night 1. By night 2, there is a significant smell of ass about your body, which you can explain, but nobody cares by now. Showers are not even thought of due to lack of efficiency. Why shower when your wet by the time you are back to your tent. By day 3, there is significant decomposition of your body. As you cool, the filth builds on layers. So much so that you can scrape it out from your finger nails. Additionally, the ammonia build up is so intense you smell like cat piss. This is the final stage of stench and about the normal limit. You dont kneel to explain on operation or give a brief order because the waft of ass that comes up will suck the oxygen from your lungs. You can taste it. But noibody cares because everyone else is in the same boat. Taking a whores bath only delays the effects, in fact, magnifies the effect. It is so wet down here that after leaving my socks on for 2 days, my feet fell apart, staged about a day apart. Big blisters developed in between my toes and spread along each and every toe jamb. If anyone has ever smelled a dead body it was very nearly to the first stages of decomposition. It smelled like you broke through the toilet paper, and didnt realize it until you started eating your sandwich and could smell it on your fingers. That bad. It took a ton of gold bond (triple medicated) to help dry them out. I probably sloughed off skin for a month and it has just finished. Now about gold bond.

This is the greatest thing sliced bread. If you liberally douse your crotch with it after you shower, it is like riding an icicle pony. Your pores are wide open and the triple menthol treatment is like having a portable ice pack down there. I learned quick while I was in Idaho in 2000 that if you powder and and wade out into the breeze with your pants around your ankles, hence the term dropping trow, you can stay cool for 3-4 hours. Here, your lucky if you get an hour out of it because of the sweat effect. You will be so covered in sweat and nastiness that people will look behind them to see if someone is wearing flip flops, and its because, those of us go commando, of your "junk" sticking to your legs. Its that bad...

And it doesnt help to get your smallpox shot down here either. You get it, itch like a mofo for 10 days, and then it heals. But, you are so wet that it is impossible to keep the site dry. Some first timers down here look like they have leprosy from the innoculation. Big angry red sores that have a cess pool of small pox in the middle of them. Luckily mine was like a big zit and healed after 11 days so I can wrestle with the boys when I get home. The typhoid innoculation left me wiped out, but Im back to cruising speed.

i havent been able run in the last month, so I dreaded the run this morning. Surprisingly, 2 miles went very fast and I really wasnt hurting. My plan, for now, is to be in the weight room everyday. Mark my word, 6 foot 4 of twisted steel and sex appeal will be back with a venegence, maybe a little rusty, but back none the less. Murph Dog just got back from school in San Antonio and brought me the new DKM. Incredibly impressive. Pick it up, you wnt be disappointed. I highly recommend that anyone and everyone spend St Paddy's Day in Boston and get into the DKM show if possible. More than likely it will be sold out.

Got word from the boss that we can have a little schnoot tonight so me and the fellas are gonna have a little session after all is said and done.

To wrap up Shelby, this has been a marathon down here and not a sprint. Some good things and some bad, but together I think it is wash. We are all waiting to get overseas. New uniforms were issued and we are pretty stylin'. Gone is the desert and woodland design and now we have gone to the digital type, same thing as the Corps. All around consensus is its a good looking uniform. Soldier wise, people's real attitudes and demeanor have come out so it will be an interesting year. Well, I will be home seeing my family and enjoying them one last time before we jump the pond. I would like to thank all for reading and I hope you have gotten some type of insight into trials and tribulations of a soldier asked to leave his family and friends and train to go to a foreign land and help those who can't help themselves. Its been said that freedom isnt free. Sometimes the public forgets what am investment is needed to ensure others can have the same type of lifestyle we have. its been over 229 years since we set the standard for freedom, France following 13 years later. Since then, we have been invaded twice and gobbled up as much land as we could IOT ensure our borders were established. Its odd to see that people complain about rights in this country, when they are automatically stripped of us as soon as we leave the United States. No where are allowed to have the freedom that we have anywhere in the world. The way I see it, I will in a country who is starting off from day one after the elections this December and be having a little personal history for my self. I will miss several things: deer hunting, fishing, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my sons' birthdays, watching them explore their world, the companionship of my patient and understanding wife, who really has a tougher job than I do and is executing it better than any woman I know ( thanks for keeping the boys safe, honey. I sleep fitfully at night knowing they are in the best hands possible. )

Well, Im off to enjoy my first beer in 61 days. Of course, its Guinness, the only true mother's milk out there. Just like eating a loaf of bread. Next time you hear from me will be from Kuwait. Take care and keep reading, my friends...

Sl'ainte

Big Dave