Well, I havent written for awhile, but based on recent events, you know why...

So, back to business. Have had some great stories come my way from guys who have metIraqi kids and have wanted to talk to them and see how they are. You would think that there would be alot of questions asked about different cultures and what life is like in the US and what life is like in Iraq. US culture is here, but in a funny way. One of my buddies came back and said he was in a marketplace when one of the kids came up to him and said, and this is no shit, "Hello brother from another mother!" My buddy was like," Um, what?" And the kid repeated himself,"Hello brother from another mother." He was like WTF? Then to press matters further, another chucklehead walks up and says, in excellent milspeak," What the f$%k, over?" Which is a term we use in varying degrees around the Army. So he says hey, keep it down you dont say that there are women around here. Of course, the kid repeats himself. Its just like being in the US, at times, and some times the only thing you can do is laugh...

Well, my commo sarge is having the running argument with his computer again. Must be sausage fingering it, because he is arguing with the computer and this appears to be a losing battle...

I would venture to say that given the chance of harboring grown men, at least physically, in an environment like this, there is a certain type of regression mentally. That being said, it is the proverbial locker room here. Toilet humor, shower humor, or locker room humor is the norm rather than the exception here. Anybody who walks in is a prime target, regardless of who you are. Sometimes you are able to get a fire for effect cut in on someone, sometimes you are the recipient of steel on steel. But because of my rapier wit and childish humor, I usually emerge the victor, of which nobody can respond. Im trying to think of a case in point where I was on the losing end, but those have been so few and far between I cant remember. I KNOW there are a few who have smoked me, I just cant think of any right off the top of my head. But in regards to the humor, you have to expect it goes down to dick jokes and poop jokes and whatever other bodily functions we are discussing at the moment. Alot of times prison sex is used, which of course, is the still the standard reference to anything. Because, well, ya know ...

My oldest son's honesty and lack of corruption made me realize what is important to me. Mom told him I was having a bad day the other day and he asked why. I told him I was just having a bad day. He then asked if I had an owie and I said yeah. He then asked if it was a bad owie and I said yeah, daddy has a bad owie. He asked, "well, how did you get it? Did you trip?" I said yeah I tripped. "Daddy, did you bruise your knee?" So rather than tell him the truth and have him worrying about me, I said yes, I bruised my knee. He then asked if it had turned black, and I said yes daddy bruised his knee. Then, knowing his father, he asks," Daddy, did you spill your coffee?" I burst out laughing and the phone center looked at me like I was crazy. Sometimes it takes a four year old to put things in perspective...

Speaking of the phone center, I was calling the wife the other night. I was on an old office chair like, well, that is used in an office. It had 5 plastic legs which were supposed to have rollers on them but they are since long gone. So I am talking to the wife and I start leaning back to get more comfortable, with my intention of leaning against the wall. Im still talking and leaning and then SNAP! I land on my back feet over my head, but still talking on the phone. The chair leg skitters across the floor and stops at some one elses feet. Everyone, yes everyone is looking at me and some are moving to see if I am alright. I wave them off, signaling I am fine. I raise myself off of the floor and dust myself off and readjust the chair and sit back down. The wife asks what happened and I tell her I was leaning back and the chair broke. There is the pregnant pause, and then she asks," Arent you supposed to be on a diet?" It never fails...

See ya in the funny papers.

Sla'inte