Had a bit of an experience yesterday. I had a computer class after my shift which lasted until noon. After I crawled into bed, I figured out I had to go to the bathroom, so I was kinda restless. All of a sudden BOOM!!! My bed shook. I was like what the @#$% was that??? It was pretty quiet, and I wasn't sure exactly what happened. I woke my roommate up and said, hey man, I think there was an explosion. He, of course is like, man, you'd better not be @#$%in with me, I said no Im serious. So we ventured out of the tent, albeit cautiously. There were others standing around wondering the same thing. Nothing really else came of it at that point. So we went back to bed. When I came in for my shift, they're like oh yeah, there was an old shell found in a farmers field from either world war one or world war two that was safely detonated. Im like like ya think they coulda called. They called it a controlled detonation. I almost called it an uncontrolled discharge in pants, it surprised me that bad. But that is still very common in Europe. They still have ordinance that they find in the farm fields and farmers will find old hand grenades. There was a French farmer that found one, brought it inside his house and put it on his fireplace mantle. Well, needless to say when he was building a fire one night, it fell off and, well, he aint farming no more....

Camp

First I need to publish a few corrections. Tim Case is the state director for Ted Nugent United Sportsmen of America and Chris Raines works for Cabela's. Stacey is the Handicapped Coordinator for Florida. I do apologize for any slights which may have occurred. You have been beyond helpful in getting this up and running. When we meet, my wife has the first round...

Camp here is nice. We have air in the tents and it provides great sleeping during the day, since I have the night shift. I just adjust the vent and it is on me and I am out. With the shamals, though, its like the tent is taking a beating constantly. Man, it gets pounded and sometimes wakes you up, but just like anything you get used to it. Since we hydrate or die all the time here, inevitably you have to use the potty. Here is where the first challenge is. Leaving from a nearly pitch black tent inside to the blinding light is a very painful experience. Even wearing wrap around sunglasses causes severe pain for the first few minutes, much like being pepper sprayed. Or another analogy is from, if I can remember, Kill Bill II, where Darryl Hannah has here remaining eye ripped out by Uma Thurman and is thrashing around in the trailer. Yep, thats me trying to cover the 50 meters from my tent to the hopper from the pain of not being able to see. The good thing is they are cleaned daily. The bad thing is you have to make sure which one you go into. We have "east" and "west" porta hoppers here. The west is your traditional, injection molded hopper complete with throne, wipe, air freshener, etc. The east designed hopper, on the other hand, is much like being in a track meet. The platform is tilted towards the door and there are 2 foot rests. Thats it. You kinda have to pretend, if you are doing a class one download, that the flack is thick over Schweinfurt and you have to Nordan bombsight your load into a hole about 10" around. Not to mention tucking the judge out of the way and balancing against the wall with your other hand. God forbid your aim is off and you are in flip flops. Not a real easy explanation to your roommates.

Compared to where I was just at, everything is real close. Chow is a 5 minute walk, my office 10 for now. When the host unit leaves, we will assume their tents. Thank god for night shift because no one is around other than my shiftmate so we get some pretty good sleep. The good bathrooms are like a 1 minute walk. They are pretty nice. Hot and hot running water. The cold water isnt so we just turn that on and shower in that, which is more than enough for us. They get cleaned every day by the locals, but you always have in the back of your mind, is this my last flush???

We have pool tournanments, ping pong tournaments, playstation, movies, computer access, phone access, etc, so we are real taken care of here. the PX has alot for us, almost as much as much as stateside. But we can always use stuff from home: cookies, pretzels, peanuts etc. But wait until it cools down here for that, at least for the cookies. I can guarantee that they will melt. Everything else will make it.



Take care. Fight the good fight and keep tuning in. makes the temporary stay here worth while.

Sl'ainte

I am no longer a virgin. I went up north for the first time and have sent pix out. There's a bunch of stuff I will hit on tonight, so hopa ya got a cup of coffee or have gone potty already.

I went north for the first time yesterday and I must say, I am completely and utterly in awe and yet humbled by my mere existence on this earth. As we crossed the border, I immediately noticed that there is alot of garbage, I mean alot. It just blows all over the place here, and the shamals certainly dont help. It collects against everything and just sits until a shamal from another direction sends it elsewhere. Additionally, you can see where the previous border has been. Anyway, there was a certain tightness in my stomach, I guess it was from not knowing what I was literally driving into. We were of course locked and loaded and I had the Annie B right above my head and I knew she would look after me and allow no harm to lay its deadly hand on me. We continued and the one thing that really struck me was the sheer dismal living conditions that the Iraqis live under. But there are strong contradictions here. They live in literal mudbrick huts, that are made probably by themselves, but everyone has power and, ironically, satellite TV. Damn near every hut had a dish on top, yet it looks like with a good rain that their homes would simply dissolve.

A very heartbreaking sight is the children that line the roads as we pass through. They look, beg and plead for handouts, yet we do not and cannot stop. When they look into your eyes, it takes everything you have not to grab one or all of them and bring them back to where we have it so well. Very adorable girls and boys asking for sustinance in order to live, but they have satellite in their homes. What a topsy turvey way of life. You see older Iraqis watching, and those who are in their mid teens start to wear the man-dresses that is common and the females start wearing the burkas, yet still show their faces. I have seen very very beautiful teen age women here and handsome men, who watch us as we pass by and I wonder what they think as the American military might roles by. like I said, I would to stop and show them, help them find a better life, but in the back of my mind I tell myself, this person may be trying to kill you...

The drive was hot, but not uncomfortable. The gunner, of course, needs to be basted every 15 minutes to keep him from drying out because he is right under the sun, but we are able to get breeze through the cab. We got a cooler full of water packed with ice, which melts by the time we return, but it keeps the thirst at bay. I probably drink 3-4 liters, and piss once. We cant stop, so I have to fill a water bottle manually and store it until we get to our destination. Note self, that bottle aint filled with Gatorade. You can see herds of sheep that must cover a 300 meter by 300 meter space and a lone Iraqi woman, dressed in black, tending the heard. The husband, at least I am assuming he is, is doing other chores. As we pass by, their kids run towards us in what seems to be the dash of their lives, looking for handouts. Again the same response. Not because we are not a giving people, but for their safety. They cant understand we cant stop and we dont want any accidents. Some wave at us, others flash the peace and thumbs up, and others, Im sure, look on with contempt. Goats, sheep, and camels are all over the place. As we were passing by, goats sort of magically appeared, just popping up, and then you realize they are coming up out of a little cut in the earth. Kinda funny, but even more funny and eerie is that I have heard of others stopping for what ever reason, in the middle of no where, and its like Whack a Mole starts. People just pop up. I suppose, for the varmint hunters, its like prairie dog hunting. Little heads just appear, magically. One person even had Viagra for sale. When I was told that, Im like where in the hell would you even have a place to use it????

Remnants of the move northward are every where. Old fighting positions and bunkers litter the landscape, along with demolished buildings. Powerlines destroyed have been replaced with even bigger powerlines, the old towers a reminder of the destruction that was wrought from previous battles. Junk yards with burned out hulls of military vehicles and civilian vehicles dot the terrain. Along the way, fuel carriers that had been destroyed for whatever reason are simply dragged off the road and left, yet the scars of the flames tattoo the roadway. Bizarre.

We pass other country's military troops and they wave, each executing their assigned missions for their little area of operations. People say we bear the brunt of this, yet we still have the most dominating force in the world, so I, in my humble opinion, can only say we obviously will have the most troops here. Duh. Other countries are pulling their parts...

As we near our destination, I am told of a ziggurat that is near by and we can see it in the distance. It is about 4000 years old, and was built by what are considered pagans here. Which is odd, since we are in the cradle of civilization and the basis of 3 religions, that it is here. Christianity is dwarfed, being a mere 2005 years old. Abraham's birthplace is nearby, and it is overwhelming to think I am on the same ground he once walked. I am humbled to be in this land...

Our arrival is anti-climactic. Weapons are cleared and we go to eat. I must say the civilian or military engineer who designed this should have been shot at dawn. The chow hall and cess pool are one in the same! I would have said it was an appetite killer, except they had some pretty good mexican so I chowed. Couldnt help myself. Of course, I had a bowl of baskin robbins mint chocolate chip right after. There's always room for ice cream. After a brief stay, I relieved the gunner and took my position behind the Annie B. She was glad to see me, as I was her, just like when I cam home earlier this month. We collected or mission and set forth for the journey home. Damn, the strap I sit on was developed by someone straight out of the Inquisition, as we big ass was painfully aware of its presence. We start home and again we pass other countries checking the highways, making sure travel is safe. Its nice out, temperatures in the mid 90's, and the breeze blows right over me. Always tactically aware, I adjust my throat armor, just in case. By now its dark out ( it gets dark around 645 my time) and the sky is pretty much clear, other than the ever present dust cloud that smothers the country because of the shamals. I see lights speeding towards me. I caress Annie B and she knows my intent, her task and purpose is to keep us alive. I advise my driver, and says its the Iraqi police letting us know they coming up behind us. They pass, waving and beeping. They are proud to do their part for their country. Whatever attack happens, they keep volunteering because it is their country and they want to assume control. God bless them. Travel continues, and of course the sky lines are eerily lit, oil wells belching Satan's finger skywards. I am told this is common in the oil industry to burn off oil and the sludge pools. Its bright, bright enough to light my cupola that I am in. I am pretty well protected up here. I try and make my 6 foot four frame as small as possible, but that would take an act of god or something similar to happen. I rotate around, training Annie B's gaze on what she must destroy if need be. Man I love her and all her power she possesses.

As we near home, I get with an awfull stench. Turns out there is a dead ass on the side of the road, not yet, probably nor will it be, removed by humans. I started thinking about heading north from Wausau and seeing the carcasses of dead deer on the side of the road and telling myself to roll up the window to stop the smell. After a mile or so it passess. By now, my ass is screaming for relief so I stand and enjoy the breeze. Im up briefly, not wanting to be the stopper for incoming rounds or an IED blast, and adjust this big fanny to minimize the pain. Turns out Im bruised when I looked today. I already have a plan to supply the battalion w/ ass gaskets to help out on the long haul. Very uncomfortable, but this will be tended to. We arrive back home with out much fanfare, clear weapons, mission successfully completed.

Now, other business, and it reverts to recreation and welfare, of which I have been justly assigned. Since I am not home for bow season, fellow bowhunters and I started talking a few days ago. We are coming up on bow season and how much we will miss it. I said what if we could get a range going over here, something we could shoot at? Everyone agreed and I, of course, was nominated to head up this project. So I set out to contact anyone and everyone I could about donating 3-D targets for a range. I went to Mathews bow, gander mountain, cabelas, Rib Mountain Bowmen, and, low and behold, Ted Nugent's webpage. Ted's webpage responded with succes!!! Stacey, the president of Ted Nugent USA in Florida put out the word and we have targets inbound!!! Tim Case from Cabela's responded and said we will be taken care of and thanked us for our service to our country and said it was the least he could do, and he would help us out with whatever we needed. This is the reason I'm proud to serve, among other things. They should be here next week. Pix of that will definitely follow.

I was also on Muskyhunter, and responded to a column in regards to the price of gas. I stated my point and a few said I was the only one who had the right to bitch about it, which I guess I do. Well, after some conversation, myself and other soldiers have been invited on a couple of fishing trips, both to Canada and Georgia. I dont care what the liberal media says, the majority of this country is behind us. Cant wait to take them up on the offer, although I gotta get permission from Momma.

Well, this is a big one so I am done. Thanks for reading and stay tuned. Definitely more to come...

Sl'ainte

HELLO FROM KUWAIT!!!!
Well, I have arrived safe and sound here, and let me tell ya, it is HOT!!! But, this is a tolerable heat, so to speak. There are also a lot of breezes here, so there is a lot more air movement and NO HUMIDITY!!! You can actually have the wind blow on you and cool you off. SO off to the beginning of my adventure.

My dad came down and saw me off. We hung out and turned in equipment and a bunch of other things until I was ready to take off. I had to leave early, but my dad caught up with me at the airport. We said our goodbyes and I boarded and headed to Indy where we picked up a couple of other units. Next, we landed in Bangor, where we were met by at least 50 vets and citizens who showed up to give their appreciation. We shook hands and were patted on the back and invited to call home for free. This, by far, was the coolest thing I have ever seen. Some of them travel a couple of hours to see soldiers departing for overseas. We hung out and took some pix and then boarded for Iceland. We landed and there was absolutely no other people at the airport for a long time. That being the first time I have been out of the country, it was a little weird being there. It was raining pretty hard and blowing, which I guess is common for the island. We then reboarded and landed in Romania, which was realy bizarre. We had to stay on board since there was a surcharge to exit the plane. Again, really different in regards to another country. I told anyone if they left to make sure that they wore garlic since Dracula's castle was not too far away.

We finally landed in Kuwait and was met by a blast furnace as we left the plane, probably around 120 degrees here. After rounding everyone up, we left for an interim camp where I am now. During the ride, it was surreal: flaming oilwells, abondoned buildings, vehicles and garbage all over. The locals drive like they are attempting to qualify and have no regard for traffic rules. Security was stepped up little our ride to camp so now we know we are in a warzone. Arrived at camp and in processed, got our gear and went to chow. Not too bad and much better than Shelby. ( I hope I never go through there, other than to outprocess, again...) We retreated to our temporary digs and set up camp. The tent is huge, you can play football in there and is about 70 degrees at all times. Now I wait for word to move to my permanent digs and just watch alot of movies...

On the home front, I got to see some true warriors while I was home. I stopped briefly to give Bob Dudley his retirement gift. After serving the public for nearly 25 and a half years, Bob hung up his gun fighter belt and is now enjoying the benefits of sleeping late. I also ran into Gary Spatz, a true old school street fighter who held the line between civilization and chaos. He has sent severla letters and packages and morale remains high here. Thanks to the 2 of them for the overwhelming support.

I saw several coppers from Wausau that I didnt have the time to say high to due to the family time needed. Big Marky Klein, I saw ya, but was running late. To the others I saw sorry I didnt stop to say high, but my time with the family was precious. I hope ya understand. Nathaniel and Melinda, thanks for the call. I made it out (finally). I miss each and everyone of you...

Finally, although the creature comforts of home are gone, we are well cared for here. Water abounds, as well as the dust, but they are keeping us fed and sheltered. Its hot and dusty, but our mission has now started and we now have 363 days and a wake up. Please put it back if ya catch it so I have a chance, and also if ya bag a big northwoods bruiser, send pix. we have nothing but wild dogs and asps up here, along with scorpions and camel spiders. We are well, the mission has started, and we are actually one day closer to home.

Sl'ainte

Ever been just sitting there and suddenly realize something? That just happened to me. I realized that I have only one day left of trainign befire we go to our ARTEP, which is kind of like our final test. So we have that and then equipment pack up and then the big jump over the pond. As I am sitting here packing Im like, holy crap I got alot of stuff, most of which is headed over, but I got a bag and box that will be coming home with me. The weather is actually tollerable here, overcast and a little less hot. Unlike what I am seeing you guys dealing with up there. Trust me its still worse down here. Come on down and see if you would like. We are being over run here with ants, millions of them. If you even leave somthing out for 15 minutes, they're on the way. You can sit there and watch, literally. Orkin would make a killing down here...

We are all in the throws down here of getting ready for leave, some leaving earlier than others, but going home none the less. I was able to put together a pretty big picnic down here for our ceremony on the 10th, with a live band. looks like we have about 750-1000 peaolpe here so it will be a nice send off from here...

This is a 3 stage blog. As you can see. But what helps is to pop in a little DKM and its funny how your mind relaxes and you are able to blog. SUCCESS! I can still blog, the commander said it was cool, as long as I did not violate operational security or critical events which have occurred. I'll explain this in my book when I get back and begin to write. The way I see it, I'll have to put my list of demands for my book tour in my contract. You know, firetucks, bagpipes, midget hookers, candy bars, and stuff like that in the "green room" at Barnes and Noble, B Dalton. Nothing but first class for me.

Well, we came out of the field Sunday night and the madness began. Before I begin on that, I will encapsulate my 4 day field problem. Very different from being a company commander, but a learning experience none the less. its amazing how you get thrown into something and be like holy crap, how do you do this? But Ive got terrific NCO's who weren't afraid to help out a captain and set him straight. Basically I did battle tracking and ensured that units were where they were supposed to be. We also had a little bit of COB (civilians on the battlefield) which was different. So we had to deal with real world issues, such as no work, limited electricity available, insurgent activities. Day shift was alot more busier than night, so it seems the mopes have a regular rest plan also.

We also had to a chance to get air support from a couple of AH 64 Apache's. Now that was cool. I can see how those videos of that have circulated through out the internet world have come to be. On video they look mean, but to see one hovering 100 meters from you with an incredible amount of fire support is awe inspiring. I tried to get some pix, but the operator headspace and timing didnt allow it. I got a picture of my face and another of the ground. Good thing Im not in adult films, I can only imagine what would be the end product. Needless to say I wont quit my day job.

I have less than 48 hours left of Shelby and it feels like the weigth of the world has been lifted off us. No more training, ranges, death by powerpoint, and most of all, humidity. No kidding. If you want to experience this, there is no need to come down here. Simply turn on the shower at your house and the heater at the same time, and shut the door. Make sure it is only hot water, because even the cold water down here is about public pool temperature, minus the kid piss in the water. Further, if you want to see how bad you can smell, follow my instructions. First of all, shower before you leave. That is the basis for this. There is no doubt in my simple mind that you will be soaked by the time you have formation. This will continue until you pop your armor at bedtime. Once its bedtime, try and sleep in air that literlly does not move unless someone walks by you. Stripping naked and laying out in the middle of the FOB could be a solution, but then there is the explanation to the commander. Wake up the next morning, put on a blouse that is still wet from the night before and armor up. By the time you leave the tent you are soaked anyhow so it doesnt matter. Day 2 is the same as day one, only at bedtime there is slight smell of chicken noodle soup coming from your body. Night 2 same as night 1. By night 2, there is a significant smell of ass about your body, which you can explain, but nobody cares by now. Showers are not even thought of due to lack of efficiency. Why shower when your wet by the time you are back to your tent. By day 3, there is significant decomposition of your body. As you cool, the filth builds on layers. So much so that you can scrape it out from your finger nails. Additionally, the ammonia build up is so intense you smell like cat piss. This is the final stage of stench and about the normal limit. You dont kneel to explain on operation or give a brief order because the waft of ass that comes up will suck the oxygen from your lungs. You can taste it. But noibody cares because everyone else is in the same boat. Taking a whores bath only delays the effects, in fact, magnifies the effect. It is so wet down here that after leaving my socks on for 2 days, my feet fell apart, staged about a day apart. Big blisters developed in between my toes and spread along each and every toe jamb. If anyone has ever smelled a dead body it was very nearly to the first stages of decomposition. It smelled like you broke through the toilet paper, and didnt realize it until you started eating your sandwich and could smell it on your fingers. That bad. It took a ton of gold bond (triple medicated) to help dry them out. I probably sloughed off skin for a month and it has just finished. Now about gold bond.

This is the greatest thing sliced bread. If you liberally douse your crotch with it after you shower, it is like riding an icicle pony. Your pores are wide open and the triple menthol treatment is like having a portable ice pack down there. I learned quick while I was in Idaho in 2000 that if you powder and and wade out into the breeze with your pants around your ankles, hence the term dropping trow, you can stay cool for 3-4 hours. Here, your lucky if you get an hour out of it because of the sweat effect. You will be so covered in sweat and nastiness that people will look behind them to see if someone is wearing flip flops, and its because, those of us go commando, of your "junk" sticking to your legs. Its that bad...

And it doesnt help to get your smallpox shot down here either. You get it, itch like a mofo for 10 days, and then it heals. But, you are so wet that it is impossible to keep the site dry. Some first timers down here look like they have leprosy from the innoculation. Big angry red sores that have a cess pool of small pox in the middle of them. Luckily mine was like a big zit and healed after 11 days so I can wrestle with the boys when I get home. The typhoid innoculation left me wiped out, but Im back to cruising speed.

i havent been able run in the last month, so I dreaded the run this morning. Surprisingly, 2 miles went very fast and I really wasnt hurting. My plan, for now, is to be in the weight room everyday. Mark my word, 6 foot 4 of twisted steel and sex appeal will be back with a venegence, maybe a little rusty, but back none the less. Murph Dog just got back from school in San Antonio and brought me the new DKM. Incredibly impressive. Pick it up, you wnt be disappointed. I highly recommend that anyone and everyone spend St Paddy's Day in Boston and get into the DKM show if possible. More than likely it will be sold out.

Got word from the boss that we can have a little schnoot tonight so me and the fellas are gonna have a little session after all is said and done.

To wrap up Shelby, this has been a marathon down here and not a sprint. Some good things and some bad, but together I think it is wash. We are all waiting to get overseas. New uniforms were issued and we are pretty stylin'. Gone is the desert and woodland design and now we have gone to the digital type, same thing as the Corps. All around consensus is its a good looking uniform. Soldier wise, people's real attitudes and demeanor have come out so it will be an interesting year. Well, I will be home seeing my family and enjoying them one last time before we jump the pond. I would like to thank all for reading and I hope you have gotten some type of insight into trials and tribulations of a soldier asked to leave his family and friends and train to go to a foreign land and help those who can't help themselves. Its been said that freedom isnt free. Sometimes the public forgets what am investment is needed to ensure others can have the same type of lifestyle we have. its been over 229 years since we set the standard for freedom, France following 13 years later. Since then, we have been invaded twice and gobbled up as much land as we could IOT ensure our borders were established. Its odd to see that people complain about rights in this country, when they are automatically stripped of us as soon as we leave the United States. No where are allowed to have the freedom that we have anywhere in the world. The way I see it, I will in a country who is starting off from day one after the elections this December and be having a little personal history for my self. I will miss several things: deer hunting, fishing, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my sons' birthdays, watching them explore their world, the companionship of my patient and understanding wife, who really has a tougher job than I do and is executing it better than any woman I know ( thanks for keeping the boys safe, honey. I sleep fitfully at night knowing they are in the best hands possible. )

Well, Im off to enjoy my first beer in 61 days. Of course, its Guinness, the only true mother's milk out there. Just like eating a loaf of bread. Next time you hear from me will be from Kuwait. Take care and keep reading, my friends...

Sl'ainte

Big Dave